Breaking up has its perks – especially when there was the small matter of a six hour difference and 3,000 plus miles. On the plus side, the need to remember birthdays (I sucked majorly at this, which probably added to my being kicked to the kerb), answer phone calls at odd hours of the day and be a pillar of strength to someone finally vanishes, and one is free to pursue other interests. On the flip side, the months of getting to know someone from the ground up are then tossed away, as though all meaning were trivial. Only after a while does the real cost register – long periods that were once filled with sharing the minutiae of life are suddenly filled with solitude; solitude which has the potential to bend one’s mind and numb it into a stupor.
Any doubts I may have had that we were done died yesterday. It truly is goodbye to EJ, and that with an air of finality. In retrospect, not talking through our differences face to face when I took my trip at the beginning of the year came back to haunt me in a really big way. The major sticking point being my inability to define a coherent Worldview that is sufficiently liberal and is devoid of Evangelical underpinnings. Life goes on as they say. For me, all that is left is the arduous task of completely wiping her out of my mind, out of my memory, and out of every iota of consciousness…. Hard task, but a bloke has to keep his sanity…. 😦
Blogoratti’s shared an apt quote:
Sometimes old things need to go away. That way, we have room for the new things that come into our lives
-Randy K. Milholland
Can my new things show up already?