On six pack abs, and my all new 6-week mega program!

I never had a six pack. Even at the height of  my athletic prowess, back in the day when I was the starting defensive midfielder a la Dietmar Hamman for my departmental soccer team (hey, only for two games, but I was first choice!), I still had that tell- tale bele – the ineluctable consequence of blasting moles of eba at Mama Clara’s Buka 12. Way back then, it was still possible to grab three wraps of eba, and a ring of fish with a mixture of egusi and ogbono soups for all of twenty naira. And us kpakorized Engineering boys duly worked it to a fault, thanks to Mama Clara delivering piping hot eba timed to perfection. Thursday with Baba Sala was our nadir;  7 straight hours of back breaking, morale sapping, soul mortifying Engineering drawing made us prime candidates for a double dose of the Campus-famous eba and mixture that was Buka 12’s  specialty – first at 8.30am enroute DO2 and then by 4.30pm on the way back.

Fast forward, a few years and the unfortunate situation of my last 8-5+ (I typically closed by 7pm by which time the only eatery left in the jungle I worked was Mr Biggs) and the associated  late nights spent snacking on  coke, fried rice, and meatpies turned my stomach which could have morphed into a six-pack into a full featured keg!

Apparently almost every woman has or is having a crush on the Justin Timberlakes, David Beckhams and whoever is the next kid on the block with fantastic abs, so yours truly has decided to up his game. Thanks to The FatbusteRs, blogsville has a significantly sized sample which I can use to ascertain what the weight loss best practices are. Armed with my excel spreadsheets, properly primed with appropriate macros, I shall be the self appointed Simon Cowell of that show, meticulously  tracking performance and monitoring critical metrics to see which activities had the most input in delivering value for pain in the whole weight loss thing!

Perchance, I might still be able to rescue my six pack abs from the valley of the shadow of CocaCola!

38 thoughts on “On six pack abs, and my all new 6-week mega program!

  1. Yay!! I'm actually 1st wow…where's everybody?lol
    DB u and ur spreadsheets…lol…try and stick to the plan o, no wuru wuru! My boyfie actually has bele, thanks to 'shine shine bobo'…lol

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  2. LOL. I just blogged about fat abs now sef. I didn't even see this at all. Anyways good luck with your quest. Hit the gym hard sha.

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  3. LMAO @ ur Mama clara reminiscing… I dunno mahn, it's the western world. My mother says even the water is cursed with fat, and now, anytime she visits, she still boils her water. I'm on mission myself 😉

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  4. haha! Mr. Biggs…

    Best of luck oh!. Quickest way to abs is to eat clean, use moves that target the core muscles and keep at it. Mr. Biggs will have to go oh! Too much salt. So will soda, candy and your favorite mama put. loL! I don't eat clean but have seen it work wonders for some folks. I like my fried yam and goat meat stew too much for that kind of discipline. =)

    I'm routing for you oh!

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  5. ol boy…it is not easy at all… I am carefully working towards that too. At least, after months of grueling running and crunches, mine is becoming visible..lol..eba is dangerous..pounded yam with nsala soup is worse!

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  6. Before the exercise, you have to change ur food life style. I don’t work out; however, I have been able to maintain my defined stomach (I only see 2 vertically lines. – I be woman) But seriously, change your food life style before you start you work out routine. Good luck

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  7. hahahahahaha OK I won't laugh again. DB will you join us on Fatbusters or watch from afar? Anyway I have your back. If it is any comfort men lose weight quicker than women because they have smaller fat cells.

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  8. lol…it's hard work and dieting…good luck! But remember, getting there is one thing, staying there..quite another…but once again. GOOD LUCK!

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  9. cool!

    the game is on!

    since you and i are actually targeting the same area…stomach!. lets see how it goes…

    by the way – one carb meal a day goes a long way!

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  10. hahahaha
    as long as you dont keep throwing the "6 pk of guinness" at people.

    I remember my younger brother as a budding teenager always watching out for his 6pk, unfortunately the 6pk were more in his chest than stomach…..of course, those are his skinny ribs sticking out of his chest.

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  11. @UnderCover07 –LOL @ 'shine shine bobo'…. That and 'udeme' are the major culprits.. Sigh
    @BSNC — LOL.. Thanks
    @Funms-the-rebirth — LOL @lusting.. Na u know o….
    @Nice Anon — Will do in due course.. Lemme finish these exams first!
    @Nefertiti — LOL.. Maybe I need to aslo start boiling off the fat in my water!
    @solomonsydelle — Oh the inimitable delights of fried yam and goat meat stew… I have to head back to Naija sharpish..
    @dante — Good for you.. Making progress then..
    @Allied — True.. But the discipline…. We wil get there jare..
    @Ceberus — LOL.. Please do….
    @Simeone — LOL.. At least you have a head start on this one then..

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  12. @Licious Ron — LOL. Thanks for the cheering.. I'm currently goinng thru my paces!
    @ReadyDee — LOL.. Of course not… But then who knows?
    @Joicee – Aww.. Thanks Thanks
    @JustDoyin — True, the suggestions make sense… Will implement them
    @Miss Fly High — LOL.. The six pack shall come.. But not to the detriment of eba!
    @TigEress — LOL.. I hope I can stay the course this time too..
    @Sweetnothin' — LOL.. Of course the good Lord shall deliver if we call on him aight?
    @Caramel Delight – Watchng from afar does it for me…..
    @Pink Satin — LOL…. I shall put them up.. If i get them that is…
    @RocNaija — LOL.. Err.. are you insuinating sthng?
    @Scribble me free – Yeah.. U could say that tough work..

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  13. @tyger — col then. Maybe I'll just use your program as a base and tweak it then…
    @Buttercup — LOL…I'm sure I will be fine in the long run..
    @Spesh — Really, never understimate what a properly motivated individual can do o…. LOL
    @Blogoratti — LOL. Tanks bruv.
    @Naijagirl — LOL @ six pack beinng in the chest.. Hillarious!
    @poetically tinted — I say amen too.. LOL
    @sleekiest — LOL.. Not making excuses.. Just statng the truth. and nothing but the truth…
    @tobenna — LOL.. 'Catch them young' never seems to fail as a proactive strategy.. LOL

    Thanks peeps.. Your repsonses were simply hillarious..Thanks for stopping by

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  14. Did you label this dry humour? This is wet hot humour…I was practically ROTFL because of this post. Danny?

    Please when you finish, share with us your spreadsheet and hope the outcome is good:-)

    All the best.

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  15. The valley of coca cola is a really dark one, had withdrawal symptoms trying to wean myself off the stuff and I have suceeded Yipeee! But it wasnt easy, all the best with your journey to the heights of water only:)

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