Rediscovering Me

The wind is moving, but I am standing still
A life of pages, waiting to be filled
A heart that’s hopeful, a head that’s full of dreams
But this becoming, is harder than it seems
Feels like I’m
Looking for a reason, roamin’ through the night to find
My place in this world, my place in this world
Not a lot to lean on, I need your light to help me find
My place in this world, my place in this world

– Place in This World (Michael W.Smith)

Been doing quite a bit of mulling over a lot of things over the past few weeks – work, post MSc plans, long term direction issues and stuff like that.. Truth is I technically still have a job, but I think I’ve lost my motivation for it…Back in the day I was enthusiastic about taking on the challenges, now, i feel like its all a charade…. I came close to walking away from it all last year, but i talked to an older colleague and he thought a year away might clarify things… Got the year away.. but apparently the clarity doesn’t come with a break……

I get to talk to lots of people on a daily basis, people who have real issues – who would give almost anything to have my life – who wonder if I’m just plain crazy, I sometimes wonder if its just the “grass-is-greener-on-the-other-side” syndrome, if its a mini mid-life crisis, or there really are deep seated things which i need to address.

So I have committed to myself to rediscover myself… to ask the hard questions and hopefully find what is my “Place In This World”..

34 thoughts on “Rediscovering Me

  1. You'd always have people who say we have a lot to be thankful to God for and I think it's true. We worry too much about where we want to be instead of counting our blessing.BTW why did you stop following my blog was I boring you?What happened to Liverpool vs Borough?

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  2. @Dabizniz — No i did not o.. Lookslike google set me to follwoing anonymously on some of the blogs i follow.. Just found that out when Doug also complained.. Will change my followership to public ASAP..

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  3. Life is best enjoyed wen we dont plan too far ahead…Let things go…Dont plan too far ahead…Take baby steps when u are in unfamiliar situations…Most importantly, DO NOT let ur life be governed by set rule…….and maybe, just maybe, everything will fall in place…

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  4. @Confessions – Possibly.. i think though that the shorter term plans have to fit into an overall schema….painted in broad strokes maybe, but over arching everytinng nonetheless…

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  5. I've come to the realization that as humans, we are hardly ever satisfied/happy with our current situations..theres always seemingly something lacking..I hope u do find what it is u r hoping to find..we all deserve nothing less than the best..

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  6. This comment may sound quite 'SU'to you but what you probably need is to get closer to God. He fills a man more deeply and more satisfactorily than anything or anyone can ever do. There is a void in every person that can be filled with nothing but all of God. When you do that, He will subsequently show you the direction to go…

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  7. I agree with Buttercup..we are never satiafied, guess its one of our genetic (suddenly gone blank)…Might not even be the grass is greener syndrom though…might just be…I am bored silly syndrom and can be sorted by getting urself into police trouble…

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  8. @Buttercup – Maybe its just a disatisfaction.. or its a symptom of sthng bigger… Hopefully, a time of reflection should bring it into focus…@DiaStar — Have to agree that could be a signficant part of the issue.. Thx for stopping by..@Madam SSD — Decided to take a few days break — will reactivate sharpish..@Afrobabe – LOL @ Police trouble — That may be a one way ticket to 9ja o!!!

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  9. this is sooo not fair! i was trying to leave a comment on ur blog from my phone, but couldnt find the "comment link"now ive forgotten my carefully constructed comment. It was something along the lines of having a "pre-mid life crisis" (how old are u sef?) neways, its good that you're taking time out to evaluate your life and discover ur purpose. way to go!

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  10. sometimes we face such things and this causes us to pause and re examine …. im sure u will find the answer ur looking for…… its not necessarily about the grass is greener on the other side…… it happens to a lot of us…. dont worry DB, u'd be back in the right direction in no time…. just search urself honestly…p:s- u stopped following me…. i think! or were u ever?

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  11. HA. Go and get laid. that should solve the problem. Or not…ReadDiscoverand no that you are not alone. Go back to School. Get a PHD or something. Fall in love and go to India.

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  12. Hmm, I totally agree with Burracup. I feel it's God's way of pushing us forward to better things. I hope you find the answers to those questions you'll be asking. You're in my thoughts and prayers.

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  13. @Bumight — Guess technology is so finely balanced that any little shift can alter a lot…. LOL @ the mid-life crisis thing…I REALLY am old — old enuf to wonder if I've been doing the right things for the past years……..@Funms — Thx.. I hope I can have the courage to face up to the hard questions i really need to ask…I think i fiddled with the Google Connect thing and it turned all my followerships to anonymous.. I'm slowly working thru manually changing the followerships back to public@Temite — LOLZ.. I'm sure that would resolve every problem in the near term.. Trying the reading angle tho….. Now falling in love and going to India — I should give that a try in the future@Neffie – Thanks for the thoughts and prayers — I sure need as much as I can get… Maybe its just a nudge in the right direction from God, especially as I set resolving my 'black sheep' issues as one of my priorities this year…

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  14. hmmm.. life and its many mysteries..don't worry, u will find what you are looking for. It always ends that way.Goodluck on the journey and don't wander too far from here. Will stalk you if you stay away too long šŸ™‚

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  15. Cant stop laughing @ Temite's comments….If only getting laid can solve all problems!I agree with Afrobabe's 'I am bored syndrome'- that cud be a reason, cos i know that wen i am bored/feeling too 'alone', I sometimes feel as if my life is lacking some essentials….Hence the reason why i try not to make important decisions when i am down

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  16. I feel you. I also feel liek that a lot of times, me, I wonder a lot…….'wanting to know my purpose, if there is something more exciting, more interesting I could be doign with my life. but I am learnign to walk with GOd, ( I still feel like that o)and mid life crises ke? šŸ™‚ you never old reach that stage!I know God definatley has answers, I need to be more sensitive to His directions.I wish you find answers, pray your life gets more interesting , Your paths become clearer

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  17. congrats on ur degree. :)yeh, we all have to realize that whatever we might be going thru that there are people out there that wld love to be in our shoes.

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  18. @Wordmerchant — Yeah.. lots of different variables that feed into the final equation.. Thx for stopping by..@Confessions — Hmmm…. Quite possibly.@Olufunke – Appearances, and words, can be very deceptive o…….. Nuff said.. Thx for the prayers too….@Tigress – Yeah, guess that's one way of looking at it too.. To be more grateful, rather than focus on the perceived issues… Thx… Just finished one semester o.. not done with the MSc yet….lol..

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  19. you will find your place in this world, the journey there would come with the bumps, but you have a place in destiny. Gods got your back!!p.s typed something before and when i read it I saw my embarrassing typo!! lol

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  20. Danny, no matter what your situation is, someone somewhere would still wish they had thr kind of life you live.I dont envy your current status but I hope you are able to find answers to your questions. I have been there and …ahhh….it wasnt easy.As long as its not mid life crises…you will be alright

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  21. @Chichi — Thanks for stopping by.. Quite a great spiritual blog u've got yourself.. Uplifting!@Naijagirl — LOL.. Thanks I guess its nothing that some time of reflecting can't resolve anyways…

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  22. Self evaluation,self-appraisals, grass is always greener syndrome..these always happen to all of us…sadly getting laid doesn't solve it…we always think we've got it bad till we meet or hear of some-one who has it worse off than us, then we pause and are grateful for wat we have!!!Gosh am i making sense?I'm all drugged up so if i don't please blame it on the medication!!

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  23. See una dey fear me o. People are just relating to me in their posts these days in blogville. It must be something in the wind. I've been practicallying living n limbo since mid last year and am still there but guess what I have a plan now. Go travelling towards the end of the year and blow all my savings then start again. You wanna join me?Meanwhile you dont sound raz…

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  24. I think you've out-grown the system or where you are. It's like out growing your old clothes. they won't fit anymore, and you'd long for something new, more comfortable and much better than the old ones. the only advice i can give is to seek God, especially at this time. i have a strong feeling you're about to break in to something new..that's why you're feeling 'empty'. the only way to find out what it is is to ask God. hope this helps. have a wonderful week!bbg.

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  25. Is this a sign? First I hear this on sunday at church.Someone I know from a distance goes looking for me to give me a related message.Now I'm on blogsville and it's the same message- I guess I really have to appreciate my life- and where I am right now, even though I'd love to be else where because things can actually be worse.Thanks for this message

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  26. @Parakeet — LOL… Maybe travelling around the world might ot be a bad idea after all… Errr… I don't sound raz? Maybe its in the head, not on paper…@Nu-breed… Hey thanks for stopping by….Sure fits into the direction i think i should be headed in.@Sirius — Guess that's another way to look at it.. To be thankful, even if doesn't look like it….

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  27. Rediscovering ourselves is something we all do one way or the other especially when you get to that point where you feel . . . ‘Damn! This ain’t me. Something’s wrong.’ Then we rediscover and sooner or later, we need to rediscover again and before we know it, we’ve had like twenty six rediscoveries but one thing is for sure . . . a new you always emerges with each rediscovering. . . Thanks for stopping by my blog.

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  28. Eventually, we all come to the point where we need to 'reflect', however, we need to be careful not to be hasty in making a decision. Why make decisions we (know we) would surely look back and say, "maybe i should not have…."

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